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I've been replaced - New York, March 10

When I was in college, my summer job was at Delta Airlines. I was the only college kid who would happily work downstairs in Baggage Claim. It was like any trauma room or battle experience: long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror.

The man who had to wait for six hours for his house keys to show up.
Hint: Don't check your car or house keys in your luggage.

The couple screaming at me because her birth control pills were in her luggage.
Hint: Don't be an idiot.

The woman who vehemently demanded that I look up the barcode on her luggage and find out where it exactly was at that very minute,
Hint: Airlines lie. At that time, the barcodes weren't tracked. They were just a fancy way to print out numbers.

The dog that fell out of the sky.
Hint: Don't let your dog loose on the Departure level. He might freak out and jump through traffic and land on the Arrivals level.

The day Courtney Love slumped in the waiting area chair next to me and yelled at her entourage to watch the kid as Frances Bean ran around the baggage carousel.

But at JFK airport, I saw the future...and it won't give a damn if you scream at it.


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